I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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