it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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