I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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