How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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