Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
