What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
