wat bout pragnant strippers??
babies were throwing up all over the place
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
