I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
