he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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