I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
