I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
