If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
