she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
