Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
