I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
