He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
