Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
