They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
MIDGETS
????
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
