I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
