they need to just BURY HIM!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
not ubering you a puppy
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
