I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
