The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
