wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
handjob tips. give me some.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
