If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize