His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
