I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
