i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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