video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
