She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
