Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
