i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
