i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
