Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
