i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
