Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
