I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize