Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
sex in a hospital.. check
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
