all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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