The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
