dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
