to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You don't make any sense
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