hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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