Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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