What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
