Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
