Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
