singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
