his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
