can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ugly people sure do ruin things
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
this is an emotional support booty call
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
