I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
