If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
