I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
