I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
