NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
