Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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