there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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