is your mom at the bar?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
