i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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