Just fell off a train. Bad.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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